We understand that the decision to place your child for adoption is not made easily and is filled with many mixed emotions -- from heartbreak to hope and everything in between. As a birth parent, you will always be an important part of your child’s story. We honor the strength and courage of birth parents while recognizing that you have unique needs for support and care in your own healing post-placement. NCFA' resources are designed to help inform and support you as you walk through this complex journey.
"I have never regretted placing my daughter for adoption. It is singly the best thing that I’ve ever done. I’m not going to say that there aren’t hard times, but every time I think of how she’s flourishing—and she’s got two parents, she’s got a little brother, she’s got this huge extended family—that immediately takes away any of the pain that I’m feeling. I’m very happy that I placed for adoption."
You’re not alone.
We should never underestimate the courage and sacrifice of a birth parent in their decision of adoption. Since 1980, NCFA has sought to be an advocate for all members of the adoption triad. We provide resources not only for adoptive families but birth families as well, knowing that this journey can be heart-wrenching, but also beautiful. Whether you want to connect with other birth parents, have questions about search and reunion, post-adoption contact agreements, or just need support, NCFA is here to help.
Support and Connection
Choosing to place a child for adoption is one of the hardest things a parent can do. Even when you are confident in your decision, it still comes with grief and loss. Post-placement care and support is vital to your well-being and healing moving forward.
Your adoption professional should already be working with you to provide intentional and scheduled grief counseling, connection to other birth parents, and if applicable, assistance in navigating the open relationship. If not, use our member directory or the list below to find a professional near you who can help you get started.
There are several online communities which provide resources for birth parents and provide opportunities for birth parents to connect with each other. Active groups include:
- Birth Mom Buds
- Birth Moms Today
- Birth Mothers Amplified on YouTube or iTunes
- Knee to Knee Post Placement Care Support Groups
- On Your Feet Foundation - Empowering Birthparents After Adoption
- Open Adoption: Double the Love (Facebook)
- Sally's Lambs
Search & Reunion
When searching for information about an adoption that was previously confidential, NCFA encourages that it be done in a sensitive way for the protection of all parties involved. We believe systems of mutual consent allow for this. The use of registries, state vital records offices, placing adoption agencies, and appropriate confidential intermediary support can help this process to go smoothly for everyone involved.
The laws on accessing birth records and health and background information varies depending on the state laws, the time an adoption took place, and the decisions made by birth parents and adoptive parents at the time of the adoption.
First, begin with the agency or attorney that facilitated the original placement. Most adoption professionals today provide support and reunion services.
If those services are not available, some have found success utilizing other search options such as adopted.com which is the largest adoption reunion registry website.*
*NCFA does not endorse any particular registry or service. This information is provided for reference only.
Find a professional
Looking for an adoption agency or attorney? Searching for a professional to help with search and reunion, post-adoption support, or guidance on other critical issues? Search below.